Compassion and Kindness: It Starts With You!
Isn't it interesting how we teach children to show kindness & compassion to others and yet we forget that it all starts on the inside…with self-compassion!
Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with the same care, understanding, and support that we would offer to a good friend in a time of need. It involves acknowledging our own suffering and shortcomings with kindness and empathy, rather than with harsh judgment and self-criticism.
Understanding Self-Compassion
As defined by Psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion consists of three key elements,
1. Self Kindness: Being understanding and gentle with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental.
2. Common Humanity: Recognizing that suffering & imperfection are a natural part of the human experience and that we are not alone in our struggles. It isn't so much that “misery loves company”, but more so that “sh*@ happens!” Having a level of acceptance of this allows us to not get stuck in the suffering while also creating space to accept and move forward.
3. Mindfulness: Being aware of our thoughts and feelings in the present moment without over-identifying with them or suppressing them. Just noticing and being aware of them without judgements!
The Benefits of Self-Compassion on Our Health
Being able to practice self-compassion offers numerous benefits for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being including:
- Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Self-compassion helps to soothe our nervous system, leading to decreased levels of stress and anxiety.
- Greater Resilience: When faced with challenges or setbacks, self-compassion enables us to bounce back more quickly and effectively.
- Improved Relationships: By cultivating kindness and empathy towards ourselves, we become more compassionate and understanding towards others.
- Enhanced Self-Esteem: Self-compassion fosters a sense of self-worth that is not contingent on external achievements or validation.
How Do We Cultivate Self-Compassion?
1. Practice Self Kindness: Treat yourself with the same warmth and understanding that you would offer to a loved one. Replace self-criticism with words of encouragement and support.
2. Remember Common Humanity: Remind yourself that everyone experiences struggles and setbacks; you are not alone in your challenges.
3. Stay Mindful: Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation, yoga, or mindfulness by simply taking a few moments each day to pay attention to the here & now.
4. Offer Yourself Forgiveness: This is a big one! Recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of being human. Instead of dwelling on past failures, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can grow.
5. Set Boundaries: Practice saying no to things that drain your energy or compromise your well-being. Prioritize self-care and prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
As with anything new or unfamiliar, be patient with yourself when starting to incorporate more self-compassion into your life. Embrace self-compassion as a guiding principle in our lives, nurturing ourselves with the same care and tenderness that we so readily offer to others.